Sunday, June 10, 2012

Ash The Trash


Helllllllllllllllllllllooooooo Hunnybuns???? Hope you all are doing well!
Well, you’ll might be irked by the title! But let me come clear when it comes to our overrated plastic doll Aishwarya Rai Bachchan : I am neither her hater nor her admirer! The recently concluded 65th Cannes Films Festival provided much attention to this woman, with newspaper and channels throwing much light on her post pregnancy weight and her couture choices. The best...errr...worst.....funniest rather, was a news website coming up with this : “Learn Make up tips from the most beautiful lady’!....Huh?? Out of curiosity, I opened the video to find that the new big momma was actually promoting the products of the brand she endorses! So, I decided, why not to write a spoof about the whole thing! So here it goes, The Aishwarya Rai Bachchan giving make up tips :
Hello my blind followers (you are blind, coz you can’t see my reality!)..Let me give you the secrets of my beauty straight from my Make-Up Chronicles!
1.     Starting from the eye, to make your eyes look beautiful and glittering, wear coloured contact lenses. From sparkling blue to sea green to sky blue, there are wide varieties available in the market. Didn’t I clinch the ‘Miss World’ title wearing one? You could too!
2.    Wear Porcelain white make-up, even it means looking like an albino or a complete white trash!
3.    Get your skin bleached! Yes, because white make up won’t be available all the time.
4.    Last but not the least, visit your doctor (Plastic surgeon) regularly and make sure to get Barbie doll-like features like I did!
With the above tips, even you can become the ‘World’s Most Beautiful Woman’ like me. I know, the list changes every year and I topped the list just once. But you know, our Indian Media....never fails me to flaunt as the 'most beautiful lady'! I attribute my name and fame to them.  I am always in the news.....be it my appearances at Cannes, myself being a Bachchan Bahu or my post-pregnancy weight or my baby Aaradhya!!...Anyways, I am enjoying the attention like any other celebrity...And most important of all, remember these beautiful lines :
I am a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in Plastic, It’s fantastic!
Criticizm appreciated from so-called Aishwarya fans, others ROFL!!!!

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